22 years old.Dating an older guy. Five years in.Totally in love.He cheated.But they were in love. So she committed to working on it.There was only one thing that could be a deal breaker.
And of course, she got that one thing– he had gotten the other woman pregnant. That was it. It was over. She had a deal breaker. And he broke it. Shawna was devastated. Here is how she got through it:
Her grandmother’s words became her mantras: What goes around comes around. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Maybe they sound a little cliche but they were just enough to hold onto during the dark nights. And then the words became proudly powerful once she started actually believing those words.
Then there was her sister. Her sister swooped in like a super hero and literally held the ex hostage in his home so that Shawna wouldn’t have to see him that first day post break up. Sweet, sweet gesture that deepened their sisterly bond forever. If she had only gotten that, it would have been worth it.
But the most painful part of this breakup was the haunting thought that if she had been more or better or older or wiser, this wouldn’t have happened. As her heart healed, she started to realize that his cheating wasn’t about her. That was about him. Her part was remembering that she was worth more. This breakup was about that. His betrayal was her invitation to know her ownworthiness. It was a hard won lesson. But it was hers to keep. And she did. Worthiness not only became the premise of the work she is doing in the world but the foundation of her happy marriage. In fact, she thanks the man who broke her heart all those years ago. Because giving a girl a chance to know her own worthiness is a tremendous gift.
Heartbreak is never wasted.